The Best Caddyshack Quotes, Sorted by Funny, Short, and Character

Caddyshack turns 46 this year and people are still quoting it on the first tee like it came out last summer. That's not an accident. Three of the four leads (Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, and Rodney Dangerfield) were largely making it up as they went, and somehow it's stayed funnier than almost anything scripted from scratch since. It's one of the reasons the film still shows up on every list of the best golf movies ever made, decades later.

The single most-quoted line in the movie is Carl Spackler's "Cinderella story" monologue, the one that ends with "It's in the hole! It's in the hole!" It's famous for a good reason: Bill Murray improvised the entire thing in one take with no script to work from at all.

Funny Caddyshack Quotes

These are the lines that made the movie a comedy classic in the first place, the ones that land just as hard on the fiftieth watch as the first.

• Carl Spackler: "Cinderella story, out of nowhere, former greenskeeper, now about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac- it's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!"
• Carl Spackler: "License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint."
• Al Czervik: "Oh, this is your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity."
• Al Czervik: "Hey, Smails! My dinghy's bigger than your whole boat!"
• Judge Smails: "I have a little poem I'd like to read in honor of this occasion, if I may. Spaulding, get your foot off the boat."
• Judge Smails, to Spaulding about a burger order: "You'll get nothing, and like it!"
• Ty Webb, when asked if he's religious: "You might say that."

Short One-Liners You Can Actually Use

Not every great Caddyshack line needs a full setup. These are short enough to actually drop into conversation on the course, which is exactly why they've survived this long.

• "Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir. And I never slice." (Judge Smails)
• "By height." (Ty Webb, on how he measures himself against other golfers)
• "So I got that goin' for me, which is nice." (Carl Spackler)
• "Well? We're waiting." (Judge Smails)
• "I'll bet you a hundred bucks you slice it into the woods." (Al Czervik)
• "Danny." (Danny Noonan, endlessly correcting Ty, who never once gets his name right)

Surprisingly Inspirational Caddyshack Quotes

Caddyshack is not, in any real sense, an inspirational movie. But a couple of lines have taken on a strange second life as genuine motivational quotes, mostly because they're delivered completely straight-faced in the middle of total chaos. (If you're actually stepping up to the tee after reading these, a proper Golf Polo helps you look like you meant to quote a comedy before your round.)

• Ty Webb: "Danny, I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. All you have to do is get in touch with it. Stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball."
• Ty Webb: "Don't sell yourself short, Judge. You're a tremendous slouch."
• Carl Spackler, on his own life philosophy: "I've outsmarted myself. My foe, my enemy, is an animal. And to conquer him, I have to think like an animal."

Best Quotes by Character

Four actors carried this film, and each one brought a completely different energy to it. Here's the best of each, in one place, which is more than most quote roundups bother to do.

Bill Murray as Carl Spackler

Murray's entire role was written as a bit part. He turned it into the most quoted performance in the film almost entirely through improvisation.

• "Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts. How about a nice, cool drink, varmints?"
• "This is a hybrid. This is a cross of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California sensimilla."
• "Check me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they'll lock me up and throw away the key."
• "So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas..."

Rodney Dangerfield as Al Czervik

Czervik is the loud, tasteless new-money member every stuffy club has exactly one of, and Dangerfield plays him like he's doing stand-up between shots.

• "So what? So, let's dance!"
• "Come on, Ty, you're an ace. Everybody knows it."
• "Well, how about teams then, for twenty thousand? You can have Dr. Frankenputz over there as your partner."
• "Okay, you can owe me."

Chevy Chase as Ty Webb

Ty Webb doesn't try to be funny, which is exactly why he is. He's the guy who's so relaxed about the whole game he doesn't even keep score, and every line lands because he says it like it's obvious.

• "Oh, Judge, I don't keep score."
• "You know, Judge, my dad never liked you."
• "Me winning isn't the point. You winning is."
• "Let's make it forty thousand."

Ted Knight as Judge Smails

Every great comedy needs someone to be the target, and Judge Smails absorbs more of this film's chaos than anyone else without ever cracking a smile.

• "Danny, I'm having a party this weekend. How would you like to come over and mow my lawn?"
• "I demand satisfaction."
• "Do you mind, sir. I'm trying to tee off."
• "Damn!" (after slicing directly into the woods, immediately after boasting that he never slices)

The Supporting Cast Who Still Stole Scenes

The four leads get all the credit, but a few smaller roles are just as quotable, and most quote roundups skip them entirely.

• Sandy, the greenskeeping supervisor, correcting Carl's confusion: "Not golfers, you great git! Gophers, the little brown, furry rodents!"
• Spaulding, Judge Smails' grandson, ordering lunch: "I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog, I want a milkshake, I want a potato."
• Danny Noonan, after one of Ty's more baffling non-answers: "Great grammar."

How Much of Caddyshack Was Actually Improvised?

More than most people realize. Director Harold Ramis and his co-writers, Doug Kenney and Brian Doyle-Murray (Bill Murray's brother), all came out of the Second City and National Lampoon improv scene, and it shows in how the script was actually built. Entire sections weren't written at all, they were left as open notes for the cast to fill in on the day.

Bill Murray's Cinderella story monologue is the best-known example. There was no dialogue on the page for it. Ramis simply asked Murray if he used to do imaginary golf commentary in his head as a kid, and Murray built the entire speech on the spot, in one take. The pitchfork "Dalai Lama" story later in the film was improvised the same way. Murray was reportedly only on set for about six days total and shot every one of his scenes in that window.

Here's the part that explains why the movie feels so lopsided in hindsight: it wasn't originally supposed to be their film at all. The story was written around Danny Noonan, the young caddy trying to earn a scholarship. But Murray, Chase, and Dangerfield were cast in what were meant to be smaller supporting roles, and once the cameras started rolling, their material kept expanding because it kept working. By the time the film was cut together, three guys who weren't supposed to be the stars had basically become the whole reason to watch it.

For more on how the film actually came together, Golf.com's account of Bill Murray's improvisational role on set is worth reading in full.

Frequently Asked Questions

Whether you're quoting Carl Spackler under your breath on the back nine or you've just always wanted to know what Ty Webb would wear off the course, there's a reason this movie still gets referenced on every fairway in America. Yatta's Golf Polos and Women's Golf Polos are built for the round itself, not the punchline, so you can save the comedy for your foursome and let the shirt do its job. And if Caddyshack got you in the mood for more, our full list of the best golf movies is a good place to keep going.